One of the biggest concerns that the social workers have had is our readiness to parent an African American child. I know this has been one of their biggest concerns, because they have made fill out a stack of lengthy, oddly-worded, insinuation-filled questionnaires. We also had to spend some time in training and promise to learn as much about the subject as we could.
What problems do you foresee in raising a child of a different race? How will you handle the discrimination you and your child will face? What role does race play in one's identity?
We wrote our answers on eggshells. We are of an age that we have been thoroughly trained in public school against the evils of racism. Public schools instilled in us the feeling that racism is worse than murder. Murder can be forgiven. We have been trained to feel uncomfortable to even make an observation about what race a person is. We have been taught that insinuating that that race is more than skin deep is ignorant, and ignorant is one of the worst things a human being could be. Though I now realize this was overly simplistic, I still embrace the core of it. I believe I have been someone who has worked against the wrongs of racism and toward racial reconciliation.
But still, answering these question on paper for the PC police (our perception of what was happening) was draining and frustrating. The questions felt like a trap. They were so laced with PC code and wild assumptions about us and world we live, that we had to answer many of them "I do not know how to answer this."
I know thee will probably be some challenges. We will have to deal with discrimination issues at some point. But our community is highly populated with racially mixed families. We have no less than four in our small church. When I've asked them about it, the families who live in this community have seen little to no problems.
So this is how I plan to approach it. When Ramiah enters our family she takes on our culture and heritage. She becomes Irish American. Also we take on some of her ethnicity. My whole family becomes a little bit Ethiopian. Already, I am learning about that country and it's culture. That will be a part of our family forever.
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2 comments:
what agency are you using? Just curious...Ethopia is a country we would consider next, but Guatamala will probalby be next (after the state of FL one is over!)
We have used two different agencies. Family Adoption Consultants did our home study and Children's Home Society Family Services (CHSFS) is handling the interantional portion. They have done over 200 adoptions from Ethiopia in 2006, They are a well-oiled machine. Good for someone who knew as little as we do/did.
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