I am writing a sermon right now about Mary's visit to Elizabeth. The point I am making is about what an encouragement Elizabeth is to Mary. And I have say I feel a whole lot like Mary here in that, I have been so encouraged by people.
Some people have included Ramiah's name on Christmas cards they sent. A lady at our church expressed how excited she is to have another grandchild. Some have given money. Others have promised to do so. Someone sent five bucks (What a blessing!). Someone else promised to support even though he knows he may not have a job after February. Others have begun to consider adoption as a possibility for their family's. All of this has been so humbling and so encouraging that it has brought us both to tears.
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Friday, December 15, 2006
Reconciling Race
One of the biggest concerns that the social workers have had is our readiness to parent an African American child. I know this has been one of their biggest concerns, because they have made fill out a stack of lengthy, oddly-worded, insinuation-filled questionnaires. We also had to spend some time in training and promise to learn as much about the subject as we could.
What problems do you foresee in raising a child of a different race? How will you handle the discrimination you and your child will face? What role does race play in one's identity?
We wrote our answers on eggshells. We are of an age that we have been thoroughly trained in public school against the evils of racism. Public schools instilled in us the feeling that racism is worse than murder. Murder can be forgiven. We have been trained to feel uncomfortable to even make an observation about what race a person is. We have been taught that insinuating that that race is more than skin deep is ignorant, and ignorant is one of the worst things a human being could be. Though I now realize this was overly simplistic, I still embrace the core of it. I believe I have been someone who has worked against the wrongs of racism and toward racial reconciliation.
But still, answering these question on paper for the PC police (our perception of what was happening) was draining and frustrating. The questions felt like a trap. They were so laced with PC code and wild assumptions about us and world we live, that we had to answer many of them "I do not know how to answer this."
I know thee will probably be some challenges. We will have to deal with discrimination issues at some point. But our community is highly populated with racially mixed families. We have no less than four in our small church. When I've asked them about it, the families who live in this community have seen little to no problems.
So this is how I plan to approach it. When Ramiah enters our family she takes on our culture and heritage. She becomes Irish American. Also we take on some of her ethnicity. My whole family becomes a little bit Ethiopian. Already, I am learning about that country and it's culture. That will be a part of our family forever.
What problems do you foresee in raising a child of a different race? How will you handle the discrimination you and your child will face? What role does race play in one's identity?
We wrote our answers on eggshells. We are of an age that we have been thoroughly trained in public school against the evils of racism. Public schools instilled in us the feeling that racism is worse than murder. Murder can be forgiven. We have been trained to feel uncomfortable to even make an observation about what race a person is. We have been taught that insinuating that that race is more than skin deep is ignorant, and ignorant is one of the worst things a human being could be. Though I now realize this was overly simplistic, I still embrace the core of it. I believe I have been someone who has worked against the wrongs of racism and toward racial reconciliation.
But still, answering these question on paper for the PC police (our perception of what was happening) was draining and frustrating. The questions felt like a trap. They were so laced with PC code and wild assumptions about us and world we live, that we had to answer many of them "I do not know how to answer this."
I know thee will probably be some challenges. We will have to deal with discrimination issues at some point. But our community is highly populated with racially mixed families. We have no less than four in our small church. When I've asked them about it, the families who live in this community have seen little to no problems.
So this is how I plan to approach it. When Ramiah enters our family she takes on our culture and heritage. She becomes Irish American. Also we take on some of her ethnicity. My whole family becomes a little bit Ethiopian. Already, I am learning about that country and it's culture. That will be a part of our family forever.
Friday, December 08, 2006
EMOTIONS
WOW! This has been a wild ride already. Actually an emotional ride! I was told by my sister-n-law that the adoption process is much more emotional than being pregnant and now I completely understand what she meant by that statement. It is 10 times harder and 10 times more emotional than being pregnant. For those of you that are reading this and have gone through the process of pregnancy you know what it is to carry a child inside of you for 9 months. The frequent bathroom visits for multiple reasons, the back aches, the extra weight gain, the stretch marks, the hormones that are raging out of control, and the list goes on. You now share your body with a new life. I have experienced that wonderful miracle 2 times and I have to tell you, not having that little life within me, breaks my heart. I can't protect the life of my child, I don't have any control. Not knowing where my child sleeps tonight and not knowing who is holding her while I type this makes me swell up with tears. I long to hold her, to comfort her, to tell her mommy loves her, but I can't. So I wait...
God loves cheerful giving, so do we
2 Corinthians 9:7-8
Each man should give what he has decided in his heart
to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God
loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make
all grace abound to you, so that in all things
at all times, having all that you need,
you will abound in every good work.
The cost of adopting Ramiah is going to be around $20,000. We are steadfastly refusing to worry about this, even though it is roughly half of what we make annually. We believe God called us to this. We trust that he will work out the details. We are working hard to further restrict our budget, applying for adoption grants, and considering other sources of income. We are even prepared, if need be, to spend the next several years working hard to pay off any debt we may incur. We will do whatever we have to do. Giving a child a home and a chance at life is worth it.
You can help, if you so choose. God is rescuing an orphan, and you can be a part of that work, if you so choose. There is a link at the right that will bring you to a web-site where you can make a tax-deductible donation. If, the tax-deduction is not a concern for you, I'd ask that you contact us directly. That is, if you have decided in your heart to give.
You can help, if you so choose. God is rescuing an orphan, and you can be a part of that work, if you so choose. There is a link at the right that will bring you to a web-site where you can make a tax-deductible donation. If, the tax-deduction is not a concern for you, I'd ask that you contact us directly. That is, if you have decided in your heart to give.
Ramiah
I wrote this one night after listening to Bob Dylan's "Rolling Stone".
How can I bring you home
When you're all alone?
Out sleeping with no bed,
No place to lay your head.
How can I bring you home
When you're all alone?
Eyes blurred from tears
Fixed on your greatest fears.
How can I bring you home
When you're all alone?
Hurts to imagine how you feel,
Eating just what you steal.
How can I bring you home
When you're all alone?
To make it right
We're gonna need His Light
How can I bring you home
When you're all alone?
Need his arms to hold us tight,
Bring us through the night.
He will bring you home.
We are not alone.
It was kind of free association. I did not know where it was going. I started off thinking of the plight of our nation's homeless. But by the end, it became clear to me that God was speaking to me through my writing about my daughter. It's a poem about adoption.
Before that, Cindie and I, had been talking about adoption. But I was hesitant; paralyzed by selfishness and faithless fear disguised as concern and rationalization. But it was after this experience that I realized this is exactly the sort of thing he would ask me to do. From that moment on, I was sold.
We are now fairly deep into the process. I intend to use this space to talk about it and give updates. I will also give facts about adoption now and again.
Oh, her name will be Ramiah (Yahweh has lifted up...)
How can I bring you home
When you're all alone?
Out sleeping with no bed,
No place to lay your head.
How can I bring you home
When you're all alone?
Eyes blurred from tears
Fixed on your greatest fears.
How can I bring you home
When you're all alone?
Hurts to imagine how you feel,
Eating just what you steal.
How can I bring you home
When you're all alone?
To make it right
We're gonna need His Light
How can I bring you home
When you're all alone?
Need his arms to hold us tight,
Bring us through the night.
He will bring you home.
We are not alone.
It was kind of free association. I did not know where it was going. I started off thinking of the plight of our nation's homeless. But by the end, it became clear to me that God was speaking to me through my writing about my daughter. It's a poem about adoption.
Before that, Cindie and I, had been talking about adoption. But I was hesitant; paralyzed by selfishness and faithless fear disguised as concern and rationalization. But it was after this experience that I realized this is exactly the sort of thing he would ask me to do. From that moment on, I was sold.
We are now fairly deep into the process. I intend to use this space to talk about it and give updates. I will also give facts about adoption now and again.
Oh, her name will be Ramiah (Yahweh has lifted up...)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)