Ignorance Is The New Black

Sometimes when people find out we are adopting, they ask us if we were inspired by Angelina Jolie and Madonna. We were not. However, we recognize that there is a perception out there that these celebrities have started a fad.

If that perception reflects reality, I would say that there have certainly been worse fads, even some started by such celebrities as these. But that's just not us.

Now I have just heard that a very trendy store is selling a shirt that says that "Adoption is the New Black".

I get that it is a joke. I make jokes, sometimes inappropriate jokes. So, I won't be trying to start a boycott of their stores. I refuse to play the role of victim to ignorant people. But I grieve on behalf of all adopted children who will read this t-shirt and wonder if they were adopted so their parents could feel cool. Are they equivalent to that aqua IOU sweatshirt mom used to covet?

As always, I can't/don't expect to/won't trust the world to be sensitive to me or my family. Such a trust would leave me constantly disappointed.

We will try to be ready for such shots without being hyper-sensitive or cynical toward people. We will address these wrongs not with whining but by patiently speaking the truth. We will use the adversity to strengthen our family bonds and our faith in God.

So, bring it on.

Shohannah's Hope

Today is one of those days where you want to stay in bed all day snuggled up in your warm covers while you hear the rain tapping on your window, what a great day for sleeping! But no not today...I have just gotten home from a day at Pre-school, 20 children in a small classroom with so much energy! The day is dreary with rain and I am exhausted! As we pulled up to the house I got out and ran up trying not to soak my clothes. I got the mail and as I flipped through the damp envelopes I saw the last hope of getting a grant there in the stack. I yelled out to Shannon as he was still getting Eli out of the car, "Here it is Shohannah's hope" I was nervous, yet ripped the envelope open and we began to read, I got to the part where it read, "We are pleased to notify you that you have been APPROVED for an adoption assistance grant in the amount of $3,000." I just started screaming, jumping up and down and screaming more! I am thrilled and of course so incredibly thankful. What an encouragement on such a rainy, downcast day! What a great day to not be sleeping, but rejoicing. Thank you to all who have been praying for this. God answers prayer.
So this is where we stand now....
$4,000 from family and friends
$3,000 Shohannah's hope Grant
$8,000 Still owe for agency cost
Plus our travel cost Approx. $6,000
Please continue to support us in pray as we seek out ways to raise this money. May this news be an encouragement to you as it was to our family.
Cindie

Denied again

Well our third grant just sent a letter stating there are no funds available to help us. I am feeling a bit defeated. I know God has a plan, but I can't help but feel disapointment. Shannon says we are building up the drama and setting the stage for his glory. So I wait and have faith in him who always provides.
Cindie

What God is teaching me

Shannon and I watched the movie Blood Diamond the other night and my life will be forever changed. This movie moved me in ways that are even hard to explain. I have had a hard time even processing my thoughts with it. For those of you who have not yet seen this movie, it is about the bloody and brutal civil war in Sierra Leone which was funded in large part by illegal diamond trade. The movie follows one man who is separated from his wife and daughters as the flea the rebel army. He is taken as a slave to collect diamonds. And his son (no more than 12 years old) is taken and brain-washed to be a child soldier. The movie was utterly horrifying.

What struck me the hardest was that this was not something that happened years and years ago, this happened in this decade. In the year 2000 when I was worrying about what wedding dress to buy and what our song our first dance would be to. What color the flowers were going to be and if we should indeed take a great job handed right to us at Elizabeth Lake Church. there were no real worries, yet I was concerned and prayed about the silliest things.

I guess I have to back up a week before this movie and tell you what was going on with me (sorry this is a bit all over the place)......

I was feeling alone and depressed with the adoption, with two out of our four grants rejecting us for financial help I was devastated and beginning to wonder and question. It was the week of Easter and I asked Shannon to start praying for God to bring some kind of encouragement into our lives. Ha! Halfway through the week I got to thinking AHH DUH, Cindie what more encouragement do I need than to know God sent his ONLY son to die for you, and that HE LIVES! Here I was selfish and in a rut of self pity and wanted just a little more from God. I began to change my tune and be thankful for his promises and his power. In His time, He makes all things beautiful!

Well, after watching this movie I just kept thinking with all of this disregard for human life, unimaginable poverty, devastating suffering, and heartache happening in the world, how does God put up with my stupid requests and foolish selfishness? How sad he must be with me to have a child so spoiled yet asking for more. How can God care for my request and my long winded prayers about how I can't seem to find enough patience with my children today and how I am tired of washing all these dishes and doing all this laundry? How can He put up with listening to me, how petty am I? He has real issues to deal with. I wept and wept after seeing the movie and kept saying I just don't even know how to pray and ask God for anything anymore. Why was all of this going on and I had no idea about it? Why am I not more educated on what is happening outside my little bubble? And what could I do? I prayed that night asking God to help me understand him, telling Him I am willing to do what he asks of me, and praying for the entire continent of Africa, that they would have seconds of peace, that they could feel the hand of God for a split second to find relief from their pains of sin and sadness.

God has shown me over the past few days that Cindie Caroland in her little world does matter to Him and although he has the world to care for he holds me in his hands and cares enough about my petty requests to answer them beyond what I can imagine. He has answered prayers this week that I have been praying for for many months, He has given me great joy through my children, He has given great adoption news that we are moving up on the list, and he has also blessed us with two individuals that gave $100 each to our baby girl.

My mind can not grasp how large and magnificent he is, but my heart is understanding his love for little ole me every day.

Ethiopia's Country Data

Thought we would share a little about our daughter's Country with all of you.

Area: 1,133,380 sq.km.

Population: 61,720,000

Annual Per Capita Income: US$100 (2000)

Literate Population: 33.2% (1995)

Religions in % of Population:
Ethiopian Orthodox 46%
Muslim 32%
Protestant 14%
Traditional Beliefs 7%
Roman Catholic 1%

Official Language: Amharic

Disappointment

In the past two days, we have been turned down by two of the four adoption grants for which we applied. One was a matching grant. One was for an undefined amount of cash.

We did get approved for an interest-free loan for $5,000. Half of it will need to be repaid by June '08, and the other half by June '09. This is a good thing, but it pales in comparison to free money.

About one week ago, we started praying for good news of some kind. Since then, we have gotten the double rejection.

We are grateful for the loan. And we know that God will give us all we need. But it is hard to not be disappointed.

Please, pray about our spirits, and about the remaining two grants. Thank you.